Old Phineas Whirley

   Few Americans can hold a candle to Phineas Whirley, inventor of the Whirley Pop popcorn maker.  Was he a real person or just a character created to lend an authentic feel and a story line to what is a great popcorn maker? I don't care.  I recently purchased one of these devices and it makes great popcorn.

    Until this point I had relied on microwave popcorn for all of my popcorn needs.  I never liked microwave popcorn and am not a fan of microwave food in general.  The microwave, after all, is just a way to study the long term effects of radiation on humans and pigs like myself. 

    Now that i had a way to make fresh popcorn i just needed a movie watch.  I ventured out to Best Buy to get The Social Network.  With Bieber Fever gripping the nation i was really taking a gamble on my health going out in public. I definitely wanted to avoid catching that illness. 

    The Social Network ended up being a pretty good movie.  It is about the founding of Facebook and the legal battles faced by its CEO Mark Zuckerberg. Facebook of course is a social networking site that can be used to keep in touch with old friends, stalk new ones, or to take down oppressive regimes in the middle east and elsewhere.

   

    It is not to be confused with MySpace, which is used to find unknown bands or as a sounding board for psychotic people before they go on a shooting spree right here in the US, or Twitter, which is used to follow the meaningless babble of celebs, sports figures, and politicians.

    Much of the lifestyle displayed in the film is embellished.  There is a scene where a party bus packed with beautiful women shows up to party.  This is obviously another great prank by the Alpha Beta's.  In real life we all know it was the Omega Mu's and Booger's wonder joint that got that party started. 

    We also learn that Mark got a perfect score on his SATs  and we get a rare glimpse of his matematical genius as he quickly adds 18,000 and 1,000 together in a scene that would have Sir Isaac Newton himself green with envy.  

    In the end he has to settle and pay out what amounts to a small percentage of his extreme wealth to shut everyone up. He still gets to be the youngest billionaire in the world so he needs to get over it.  

    All in all it was a movie worth watching and popcorn worth eating.  

    

A Fresh Start

Everyone has a dream.  As a pig mine often look like this. 

Since leaving King Pig I have made new friends and have started a new life.  I recently connected with a cousin of mine.  He is a government agent and can't really talk about his work but i do have a picture to share.

My friends and i like to play Cabela's Dangerous Hunts.  Here I am in action.  It feels good to be on the other side of the assault for a change. 

On the weekends its all about Beer Pong.  When it comes to this game i am King Pig. 

 Another of my favorite games is Hide and Seek. Since I am just a head I am a pretty nasty hider. Don't believe me? I hid here for a day before i had to come out to eat. Next time i will hide in a cabinet with food.  Lesson learned. 

I hope you enjoyed a peek into my world.  I will post more adventures in the future but until then....

I Join An Entertainment Troupe

 During my quest i met this man, King Pig. 

  King Pig is straight crazy and had an entire generation of other loner pigs like myself under his spell.  It was his idea to build forts for us to live in so that we would be safe from our natural enemy...the birds.  He also

stressed that we needed this series of compounds not just for safety from the birds but from an apocalyptic comet that was set to return to Earth.  We built a variety of structures across the land.  It was a lot of fun until King Pig became overconfident and began taunting the birds.  This of course made them angry birds and they began round the clock assaults on all of our positions.  I suffered many concussions and some of my friends paid the ultimate price.  A mutiny was brewing and King Pig could sense it.  One day he brought this out and suggested we all have a drink.  

  

I knew what he was up to.  Once again i set out on my own. 

  Hi, my name is Pig and this is about my journey through life and some of the many activities i enjoy doing. 


  Well where to begin?  I was separated from my family at a young age due to harsh economic conditions around the time of my birth.  My parents got caught up in "flipping" real estate during the boom. Unfortunately they still had quite a few holdings by the time of the collapse.  As the creditors came calling, my parents, who had once displayed nothing but kindness towards each other, began to fight often.  I wouldn't put the blame squarely on either one.  There was a lot of mudslinging, no pun intended, from both of them.  I can't repeat any of it here but it was pretty uncivilized at times. 


 As if the financial troubles weren't enough of a stress on the relationship it was at this time many of my brothers and sisters began showing symptoms of what would later be diagnosed as Swine Flu.  One by one they began to die off.  This particular hardship proved too much for my folks and they separated.  


  I chose to go live with my mother in a small town near where i had been raised.  In the beginning things weren't much different but then the monotony of small town life began to take its toll on me.  One morning i resolved to run away and attempt to get my own piece of the American Dream.